One of my favourite lines from the “The Simpsons”
is when Bart complains he is having the worst day of his
life. “So far”, responds his unsympathetic yet
correctly predictive father, Homer.
I liken that to a study by Today.com that
suggests three is the most stressful number of children
to have. A mom of three explains that the stress level increases
when it comes to things like crossing the street, versus
two kids. I would agree that getting three kids to do anything
in tandem is harder than getting two kids to do it. But
I have four kids, and to the best of my recollection, I
don’t recall sprouting an extra arm when that last
child arrived. Similarly, my friends with five, six and
more children have no more appendages which it make it less
stressful, or easier for them to cross the street. Maybe
for moms of three, three is the most stressful number of
children for them to have…so far.
The study indicates mothers of more than
three kids, on average, self-described themselves as at
a lower stress level than their triumvirate sisters. It
concludes that families with more than three children experience
the “Duggar Effect”, referencing the TLC reality
family with 19 children. While I am 15 short of this number,
admittedly older kids can, on occasion, help younger kids.
But does that really offset the stress of knowing you have
more children to feed, clothe, potty train, change sheets
for, teach how to drive, suffer through first dates, explain
birth control to and pay for their post-secondary education?
According to MoneySense.ca, the average cost of raising
a child in Canada is almost $245,000. Adding this expense
for each child doesn’t raise your stress level? Really?
I’m not saying that three kids aren’t
stressful for a lot of people. It can be. Just like it is
very stressful for some parents of one child, two, four,
five, etc. I call it the Pitter Patter Principle. (The original
Peter Principle I’m referencing states that people
are promoted to a level of incompetency.) Perhaps those
who are lucky enough to actively choose the number of children
they have, sometimes also reach beyond the level of what
they would see as acceptable stress. They are not incompetent
in this way, of course. They just learn when to stop.
So what comes first? The proverbial chicken
or the fertilized egg? The stress of having kids or the
stress level of the parents prior to having them? Since
we can’t give back the number of children we had past
the third one to do a truly fair comparison, (I may have
tried) I guess we’ll never know.
This column was originally
run in the Metro News. Kathy’s new book “I Am
So The Boss Of You: An 8 Step Guide To Giving Your Family
The Business” has been optioned by Warner Bros Television.
Pick it up at a bookstore near you.
 |
Watch for Funny
Mummy every month. Follow Kathy on Twitter
@KathyBuckworth
or visit www.kathybuckworth.com
Kathy’s newest book, “I Am So The Boss
Of You: An 8 Step Guide To Giving Your Family The
Business”.
|
|
