There is so much emphasis on the
second Sunday in May, it’s no wonder most of the time
it ends up in disappointment and dissatisfaction. Sort of
like cramming a year’s worth of love into Valentine’s
Day. But just like the opponents of Valentine’s Day
claim that you should be making your feelings known year
round instead of just on February 14th, I think we need
to start thinking about Moms all year round too. Just think
kids: Every day can be Mother’s Day!
But putting that responsibility on the
people we mother, or the people whose children we mother,
is probably only going to lead to more disappointment and
frustration. That’s why this year I plan to Re-Matriate*
Mother’s Day and make it myown…and make it last
for 365 days.
There’s an old joke about a man
who complains that his wife doesn’t do anything all
day. One day he comes home to find his normally clean house
in complete disarray, the kids are unusually messy, unclothed
and unfed, and there’s nothing on or in the oven cooking
for dinner. He says “What happened here today?”
And she responds with “The nothing I do all day? I
didn’t do it today.”
So I say every day of the year we find
a little way to not do the things we normally do, and not
just on Mother’s Day. Things like:
- Stop picking up the dirty socks of
anyone over the age of six, found mostly under the couch.
Just stop. The owner of the socks will eventually run
out and have to go looking for them. You can simply point
them in the right direction, should their sense of smell
not be fully developed. Or, send them to the store to
buy some new ones. Not your problem.
- Refrain from being the person who puts
out toilet paper for everyone else to use. Don’t
do it. Keep a stash in a bag you take into the bathroom
with you every time you go, and see who/if/when the toilet
roll gets refilled by anybody else. (Note: Sniff towels
periodically – or maybe pay a toddler to do it for
you)
- Stop buying beer for “the house”
if you (and your friends) don’t drink beer. Does
anyone else in the house take care of your tampon supply?
It should be noted that this can be a risky manoeuver,
however, as in desperate times (i.e. sports playoffs of
any kind) ,your chardonnay stash may begin to mysteriously
deplete. Also, check the vanilla.
- If you are folding anyone else’s
clothes, making anyone else’s bed or putting away
anyone else’s towels…desist immediately. Don’t
most of those people look like they rolled out of an unmade
bed and threw on clothes they found on the ground anyway?
And those towels? Just remember the toilet paper tip.
We seem to see Mother’s Day as a
time to “take off” from doing these domestic
duties, when the fact of the matter is, we can reward ourselves
by doing a little bit of nothing, every day. Join me, won’t
you?
*No, the word rematriate doesn’t
exist. But it should. Am I’m taking that on.
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Kathy
Buckworth loves her Buick Enclave. Especially when
it’s toxin (i.e. child) free. Follow Kathy on
Twitter @KathyBuckworth.
Kathy’s next book, “I Am So The Boss of
You” will be released by McClelland & Stewart
in Spring, 2013.
"Shut Up and Eat: Tales of Chicken, Children
and Chardonnay" is now available at bookstores
everywhere. Read my blog "BlackBerryDiaries"
at www.blackberrydiaries.net
Visit www.kathybuckworth.com
for information and upcoming events.
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