Love is in the air.
Being electronically transmitted, in all likelihood.
For reasons I can’t explain, PeeWee Herman and, in
particular, his show, PeeWee’s Playhouse, has always
held great appeal for me. Fans of the show (back me up here!)
know that if PeeWee had had a BlackBerry, he would have
married it— just like he did with the bowl of cereal.
I now share this devotion. Not with cereal, people, but
with my BlackBerry. It provides me with comfort, entertainment,
advice, news alerts, laughs, and, most importantly, companionship.
I am never alone when my square little black friend is with
me. Allow me to explain the push-me-pull-me addiction of
BlackBerry love. “Push” as in always wanting
to be sending someone, somewhere, an email about EXACTLY
what I’m doing at that moment, and “Pull”
as in I have to know immediately what’s in that email
that just vibrated into my world.
The phenomenon is fairly easy to understand: Receiving an
incoming email message on your BlackBerry is akin to having
a note passed to you in class from the cutest boy in school.
You have to look at it. You need to look at it. The need
is especially strong when you are in a situation where you
can’t look at it (because to do so would either be
rude or downright dangerous). It takes a huge amount of
will power not to look at an incoming message, though you
can always tell how many messages you have waiting for you
by counting the number of buzzes. This is both intoxicating
and annoying.
You can tell the depths of my devotion by the following
typical attributes (which any true BB lover will have):
- The tell-tale thin red line
on the right side of my stomach by my hip, caused by leaning
over while wearing the holder and a too-short t-shirt
or by making the amateur’s mistake of putting the
clip straight onto a waistband rather than a belt.
- The feeling of the “phantom”
(or BraxBerry Hicks) vibrations, causing me to immediately
look at a “no new email screen” and then feign
reading in case others have witnessed my pathetic act.
- The stunned “hmmm?”
response I offer when people are speaking to me and I’m
simultaneously trying to read an email.
- The glazed look that automatically
creeps across my face once the hummmm hummm of an incoming
email is heard and the opportunity to read is denied due
to circumstances beyond my control (toilet training a
child, for example).
- A renewed interest in prayer—prayer
that once the sound of an incoming email is heard, the
person you are speaking with will instantly be called
away.
How did this happen? It’s
my own fault, really. After months of pestering my husband
to “put the damn thing down and listen to me”
(like putting an electronic device down is even possible
for a male unless it’s on fire, and never mind the
“listening part”), I decided that if you can’t
beat them, join them. And from the minute that sleek black
shiny square became a part of my life, I knew we would be
inseparable. I have a love/love relationship with my BlackBerry.
There. I’ve said it. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Excerpted from “The BlackBerry Diaries: Adventures
in Modern Motherhood”, Kathy Buckworth, Key Porter
Books, 2009
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Watch for Funny
Mummy every month. Follow Kathy on Twitter
@KathyBuckworth
or visit www.kathybuckworth.com
Kathy’s newest book, “I Am So The Boss
Of You: An 8 Step Guide To Giving Your Family The
Business” will be released Random House in March,
2013.
This article was originally published in the Metro
News.
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