The huge on-line success of the book
“Go the F**k to Sleep” is due mainly to one
thing: Every single parent in the world has uttered these
words, either in their inside or outside voice. From the
string of sleepless nights a newborn delivers the minute
they come home from the hospital, through scary school age
nightmares about The Grinch, to the awakening sounds of
a teenage boy banging around the kitchen in search of a
midnight snack. Sleep is one of the few challenges parents
face with their children from start to finish, and that
we all can relate to not having enough of. However, as with
many facets of raising children, sleep deprivation is one
where you always think you’re going through a tougher
time than anyone before, or after you.
While the recent Twitter hashtag #ZombieMoms
includes membership from Moms with children of all ages,
it does skew towards the newborn side. Their challenges
don’t always inspire thoughts of empathy.
“You think it’s tough having
a newborn? At least they don’t go anywhere –
I’m up all night worrying about my teenager driving
around, and then when she gets home she makes so much noise
it wakes me up all over again.”
Complaining about the lack of sleep (a
badge of honour for parents) is a bit of a curious phenomenon.
Back in the good ol’ days (before we had kids), most
of us wore our lack of sleep status with pride.
“I was out clubbing til 4:00am,
had a power nap, a quick shower, and here I am back at work.
Wicked, man.”
I suppose there are some similarities
with that type of sleep deprivation and the type that comes
from having a newborn; your eyes are red, your body’s
aching, and you might be dealing with vomit which isn’t
always your own. The main difference though is the lack
of control that you have over your own sleep patterns, once
Baby makes his entrance. When they’re infants, we
instinctively rise to their occasion every time they can’t
sleep. We read the baby books that alternate between telling
us to comfort them instantly, and just letting them scream
it out. Unfortunately Baby isn’t usually up to speed
on which book we’re reading or which strategy we’re
trying, so it doesn’t always work.
As the kids get older, though, it can
be a mistake to let them assume they are still in charge.
“I try to get him to bed at 8:00
but he just won’t go.”
Have to admit I don’t understand
this. What’s with the “try”? Just substitute
the word “put” here, and it works out pretty
well. The getting them to stay in bed, once uncontained
by crib bars, can be the real challenge.
By the time they get to the ‘tween
stage, they try to push the boundaries of bedtime, but most
of them haven’t mastered the art of sleeping-in the
next morning, so a later sleep start usually just speeds
up the development of the surly side of their personality
which will fully bloom in the teen years.
When your teenage children start to stay
up later than you do, it makes you feel old. Not the physical
old as you feel when you’ve been up six times in the
night with a newborn, but old in a “how old am I?”
mental way. Comparing the levels of weariness, both of spirit
and body, is tough.
Teenagers, on the whole, like to
sleep in. Let them. As tempting as it is to get some sleep
deprivation revenge fully due to you, take the time to Drink
The F**k Some Coffee.
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